You know you’re an asshole when everyone and their kids are running to beat you up. What did the dude from Kung Fu do? That’s the question that invades my mind.
I admit, I haven’t played this NES launch title in a long time. And as soon as I started the first stage I remembered how boring the game is. What’s the opposite of nostalgia? As a kid I didn’t want to play it, and now as an adult I feel the same.
This game is typically listed by historians as the original beat ’em up. But I disagree. There is no sense of impact at all when you strike an enemy, be it a grown up or a small child. It’s as if were wafting the enemy sprites away like a terrible stench. I follow the rule that if a game doesn’t make me feel like I’m beating someone up then it’s not a beat ’em up. It’s a simple standard to live by, even for this asshole.
Sorry to all those Kung Fu supporters but the beloved genre started with another not so great game. To learn more you can watch the episode The beginnings of Beat ‘Em Up on the GOGP youtube channel. Spoiler alert…it’s Renegade.